sonicare

oh gosh help. i don't know how to use my electronic toothbrush. the directions are complicated. i don't get it.

yes i went to college.

driven by music

oh i've just discovered the joys of jogging with music in your ears. yes smack me, i've just taken my ipod out for a run on the road for the very first time.

wow it felt good. against the crisp chill armed with music. screw watching the traffic, screw possible bad company. the beat keeps you pumped.

fear

i think one of my greatest fears is breakups. breakups of families, friendships falling apart, relationships not working out or turning sour.

i sometimes have dreams of my parents separating. either my dad moving to a different city, or that my mom left the house. i remember the sinking feeling, the flaundering around because i don't know what to do next, being lost even though i'm no longer a kid. i'll wake up feeling jolted, and though i reassure myself that it was simply just a dream, i'll call home just to make sure everything's okay. my parents are happily married, i don't know where these dreams come from.

or i have dreams of betrayal and deceit. being involved in some conspiracy, that someone broke my trust, people whom i thought i knew, i don't know anymore. i'm seriously strange.

i must have had happy dreams too. i think there was one where i could fly.

james blunt

goodbye my lover is about the saddest song i've heard. james blunt is just a sad singer. but how absolutely wonderful though.

i love his album. also check out wisemen. i should have gone for his concert.

where is the love

What's wrong with the world, mama
People livin' like they ain't got no mamas
I think the whole world addicted to the drama
Only attracted to things that'll bring you trauma
Overseas, yeah, we try to stop terrorism
But we still got terrorists here livin'
In the USA, the big CIA
The Bloods and The Crips and the KKK
But if you only have love for your own race
Then you only leave space to discriminate
And to discriminate only generates hate
And when you hate then you're bound to get irate, yeah
Madness is what you demonstrate
And that's exactly how anger works and operates
Man, you gotta have love just to set it straight
Take control of your mind and meditate
Let your soul gravitate to the love, y'all, y'all

M3

wow look at this bad ass car. as aaron said, it's obscene.



i need a pay raise. heh. i need a huge raise to be able to afford this. can't wait to hit manager.

working hard

you really shouldn't work too hard. so i spent the entire day slacking off. :)

funky drinks

so here's my current favorite drink:

you might think it's full of fungus, but it's actually really good. i might OD from it.

and mindy the next picture's for you, there were commercials for this all over the narita airport. my sis and i were laughing non-stop (what kind of drink is called sweat, ewww) until i actually drank one. eh it's pretty damn good, tastes like 100plus.

quote of the week

a co-worker who's totally decent, dorky, non-flirtatious, quiet and somewhat shy, said wistfully to me:

"i wish i had all the girls"

i absolutely cracked up laughing. :)

cheeziness

"i can't stop the rain, but i will hold you till it goes away"

ahh the cheeziness in this awesome song. but girls are such suckers for sweet sayings.

goals

time to get up. but since i've been coughing and currently sound kinda butch, you'll forgive me right?

so i was thinking, here're some things i want to do sometime. like 43things.com. but not catch-a-penguin or eat-a-sandwich kinda thing.

1. pick up ballet and/or jazz again.
2. learn latin dancing. maybe pj will do it with me.
3. buy a piano. this one i'll have to rethink, pretty costly. maybe i'll just get someone rich to buy it for me.
4. take chinese lessons.
5. start studying for gmats.

okie dokes. shower time. then off to the hairdressers for a trim.

JA

junior achievement. one day when we get out of our regular schedules to teach elementary kids and inspire them to stay in school.

i had been really looking forward to doing this, honestly, it's more rewarding than you think it is. do it once, and you can get addicted. teachers are remarkable, though, i can't see myself ever being a teacher, i just don't have that much energy to keep up with 8-year-olds. it's a tough job. much tougher than mine.

i hope i can get myself together for tomorrow. i hope they'll enjoy my lesson.

rain?

what's up with the weather. wait am i in seattle?

was it an honest mistake?

that woman who hit my car finally called me. she found a police report stuck to her door and wanted to see if the damage was less than her deductible. but it's gonna cost 1800 bucks to fix my car. yeap. her insurance will have to take care of it.

her excuse for the hit-and-run was that she was late in going to the hospital to see her dad. is it true?

when you hear a story like that though, you're in a dilemma. yes most probably she might be lying, but for the tinsiest chance that she WAS telling the truth, i can't hold it against her. i guess i'm not mad anymore.

memories

there are things i want to forget. to erase completely. to shut out, always. ugh. i feel a little tainted otherwise.

what are we chasing?

what's the point of it all? what are some of the goals and experiences we must have as young 20-somethings? things that if were to pass by us unnoticed, would be described as a loss and time we could never have back?

i don't know. sometimes i think i'm satisfied with what i have, sometimes there's this unfulfilled void that i have no idea how to fill. am i satisfied because people tell me that i'm satisfied? that i have what many do not, that i have opportunities lying in my path that others desire?

i wish i didn't have responsibilities. not a care in the world, to do as i wish for even just one fleeting day. then maybe i'll truly discover myself. to let go.

but i'll never be able to have that. there's too much at stake, too much to hurt. it might not be worth it. maybe i'll have to keep it inside.

one less pleasure in life

i think i have to give up eating. my stomach no longer likes food.

idle time

eh. i'm not too sure what i should do with all my time. not working on fridays seems like a good thing, but sometimes i feel like i don't quite know what to do.

don't get me wrong. i'm glad the week's over, since the rest of the week was pretty much wake up work come home sleep. eh why do i feel like i need to do something then? i'm feeling a little itchy. a little restless. my mind's racing with things that i could do. there's only so much shopping a girl can do. i wish i live downtown to just hang out at a bar by myself. it might be interesting.

or maybe it'll be nice to work moderate hours stretched out over 5 days instead of 4?

OR. i should just get a weekend job. be a dancer again.

it feels like a sinking hole.

asdflajw;elkj!!!!!!!!!

just spent 2 hours sitting in traffic. feel like smashing things.

waitressing

so i just had an ephiphany driving to work.

i've always wanted to work as a waitress, or someone in the retail store, just for fun.

i can still do that. maybe just before i go to b-school. quit work, live in a different city, either wait on tables or at a clothing store. have a simple fluffless life, paycheck to paycheck.

:) it's a great excuse to forget about your career for a few months.

hit-and-run

so some idiot hit my parked car yesterday when i was seeing the optometrist. not a terribly huge dent, but it hurts because it's the very first scratch, and a very large one that is. :(

and people make mistakes. sure. i'd be angry, but maybe i can forgive. but the worst part is that she hit and ran. got down, looked at my car with the huge mark in it, got into her lexus and decided to drive away.

thank goodness for that nice hippie couple who was sitting nearby. they saw the whole thing, chased after her, took down her license plate number and flagged a policeman. by the time i came back to my car he was already drawing up the traffic report and retrieving that lady's particulars.

arghhhhh i feel like shouting at her on the phone. take responsibility for what you've done dammit. then i can find forgiveness there.

I FOUND MY SOCK!!!

'read all the books'

so by popular demand (and all for the wrong reasons), i'm putting up a post dedicated to books i've read and want to read.

so over the few months (the joys of the working world), i've read:

1. speaker of the dead - orson scott card first book of the series, if you liked ender's game, you'll love this one too
2. empres orchid - anchee min tale about the last empress of china
3. the harmony silk factory - tash aw takes place in malaysia during the japanese occupation
4. wicked - gregory maguire story of the wicked witch of the west
5. callgirl - jeannette angell confessions of an ivy league professor
6. memoirs of a geisha - arthur golden tale of japanese geishas
7. the time traveler's wife - audrey niffenegger interesting read about time traveling

books i want:

1. confessions of an economic hit man - john perkins
2. my sister's keeper - jodi picoult
3. the illuminator - brenda rickman vantrease