fear

i think one of my greatest fears is breakups. breakups of families, friendships falling apart, relationships not working out or turning sour.

i sometimes have dreams of my parents separating. either my dad moving to a different city, or that my mom left the house. i remember the sinking feeling, the flaundering around because i don't know what to do next, being lost even though i'm no longer a kid. i'll wake up feeling jolted, and though i reassure myself that it was simply just a dream, i'll call home just to make sure everything's okay. my parents are happily married, i don't know where these dreams come from.

or i have dreams of betrayal and deceit. being involved in some conspiracy, that someone broke my trust, people whom i thought i knew, i don't know anymore. i'm seriously strange.

i must have had happy dreams too. i think there was one where i could fly.